Coming back home now its 4 and my mind is racing with many scenarios , many what ifs and many strong yet confusing emotions. The opportunity for me to experience something I’ve wanted with my all has presented itself. I don’t know where exactly this opportunity is going to take me but I’ve reach a point in which I’m am comfortable with not knowing, regardless of what may come I know my heart , my intentions are in the right place.
The curiosity, the desire , the fire has been ignited, and it keeps growing more intense, burning away my inhibitions. Its a force I’ve been denying for quite some time, and its reach a breaking point I’ve only dreamt of. Now this new gift, new path has presented itself and I’m ready to run free. More ready than any other past experience my heart has gathered. Where it takes me i don’t know, all i know is that my heart will guide me in the right path. An opportunity of a life time may await me, or perhaps just another valuable learning experience. I’ll take my chances, no what ifs.
This thing we are going through. I see myself and those around me facing different realities and truths. We are all unique , we all have our own story to tell. Im coming to realize that to be a better person you have to stop trying so hard. Connections and understanding are key to relationships of any kind. the ego or the self is something we need to reconcile with but in the right way to better our connections, do not feed it, let it be free on its own and grow with the company of others. DESIRE is also one to refine, let desire turn into a drive to progress, to elevate with out hindering or harming others. I’m still working on this two, but with the focus of these underlying themes comes a broader understanding of all the other trials I come across.
Succeeding at life
So my 6 year old nephew walks in all happy and junk and gives me a big ole hug, looks at me with those huge adorable eyes and asks where (insert ex-girlfriends name here) is. Soo many thoughts and ill formed excuses rush through my mind as I try to figuer out the best and easiest way to explain her absence, the silence of my thoughts are awoken when he says he misses her.
Right there at that moment my mind snaps and a broken heart utters
"Andres, I miss her too, but (insert girlfriends name here) said some really mean things to me, and I said some back to her too. She really hurt my feelings and that’s why she’s not coming back. I’m sorry"
A hug and a I love you was consolation from a innocent young boy, and it reminded me that sometimes the love of a family is all you need to move on.
I’d be floating and all my cares disappeared. All it takes is a smile or a flick of your hair to be mesmerized. A walk to a park or even just the corner store. It didn’t matter cause when I feel this way everywhere is an adventure.
Its scary not knowing if you’ll ever get that feeling back again. Its been a while so far and I guess over that time I’ve gotten use to not being in love. I do miss it and sometimes wonder when I’ll experience that again.
Maybe I won’t, maybe my time has passed
we do what we do and we do what we live
i love this way cause i got it as a kid
with so much to give from it i never hid
the love that i wrote on the mirror it got smeared
my friends say it was a change for the better
but i say girl you changed my forever
relationships they can be as strange as the weather…
True love always makes a man better, no matter what woman inspires it. — Alexander Dumas